How To FEEL Better About Menopause.
Or How To Have a Better Menopause Mindset.
(By Susanne Erricker, Head Girl at The Academy For Grown Up Girls).
Ok, I’m guessing you don’t believe it is possible to feel better about being Menopausal? To have a better menopause mindset?
Just in case you think I might not understand, please be assured I DO.
I have been suffering from the side effects of perimenopause, the weight gain, hot flushes, mood swings. When it all started I really struggled with the thought of “that’s me done then’ I always thought that menopause happened to old women, but now I am there (I’m 49) and I don’t feel old at all.
As menopausal women we feel invisible, lack confidence, get lost in worry and anxiety about everything and anything, feel like our lives are over, right? Well, No! actually, absolutely not right! And this is why I have written this post for you today.
I am now going to make a statement that will probably cause you to ask …
“Who is this woman?”
‘What planet is she on?”
I’m actually hoping it will inspire you too and help you to look at things in a slightly different way… a slightly better menopause mindset…
‘As a Menopausal (or Perimenopausal) woman you are in the Prime of your Life’
Here are some reasons why…
- You have oodles of life experience to draw upon
- Due to changing hormone levels, you start to lose some of the all encompassing maternal instincts and you will find yourself starting to want to focus on what’s next for you (no guilty feelings here please!)
- You are (or will be) mentally and emotionally stronger than you have ever been
- If you are in midlife and beyond, as you move away from ‘hands on’ parenting/caring or other family issues, career building, home nesting you will have more time, freedom and choice as to what you want to do for the rest of your life
Yes, lovely lady – the REST of your life. In fact, if you are a similar age to me, you still have at least 25 quality years ahead of you – I am actually banking on more like 30 -35, but I thought I would be conservative with the numbers just there.
It never used to be this way.
In our grandmother’s day, once she reached the menopause it was time to reach for the knitting and the rocking chair and to a certain degree it is the same for our parents.
But for us, well it is different and so the menopause signals the start of embracing with open arms the next chapter of our lives.
So how do we do that? This is a big question that actually only requires a small shift in menopause mindset. Here are some pointers for you:
Work on changing your thinking style:
Are you a glass half full or a glass half empty kinda girl? Do you focus on what you don’t want rather than what you do want?
If you are the glass half empty type and know what you don’t want more than what you do want, then you are not alone, but you may want to consider a change.
Research shows that negative thoughts programme your brain to do a specific action (like run from danger) but at the same time narrow your mind and focus your thoughts on that one thing. The brain will then start to believe that thing to be true and guess what, so will the rest of you and this is when you start to feel anxiety and worry all the more.
Try changing your attitude to age:
Do you feel old? Do you consider yourself ‘Past it’ ? Have you lost touch with the youthful you? Is it too late ‘to change’?
If you answered ‘yes’ to any of the above, it’s time to change your attitude to age and accept that age is a state of mind. Average life expectancy for women who are 50 now is 86, so you have a good 30 – 40 years of your life ahead of you. Time to start planning for the next act otherwise you’re going to have a long wait ahead of you before you hang up your handbag.
Be kind to yourself:
What would you think if your own best friend started putting you down and telling you that YOU are hopeless, that there’s no way YOU can do something, or worse be cruel about your body image? My guess is that you would go and find another friend who is more encouraging and supportive of you and ditch this one
So why is it then that we are so cruel to ourselves and continue to be so?
Try these 3 things instead and practise them on a daily basis
- Be more aware of what you are thinking or saying to yourself, are you being self destructive rather than compassionate?
- Be grateful to your body for allowing you to walk, see, hear………. and give it what it needs in the form of good nutrition and hydration when you can. (Kathy has some great tips in her own blogs, social media and courses)
- Learn to be a little bit selfish and set aside some time each day just for you
Here’s to a happy and healthy 2nd half to your life! With a marvellous menopause mindset.
Love, Susanne x
Susanne is Head Girl at ‘The Academy for Grown up Girls’ and a Personal Development and NLP Coach for Women in Midlife. The Mission of ‘The Academy’ is to bring inspiration, motivation and confidence to the lives of women who have been or are going through a life event that has knocked them off track. Through online teaching and coaching programmes she helps women ‘reinvent’ themselves and adjust to new roles in their lives, giving them confidence, self belief and clarity to enjoy the next chapter.